When are you moving home?...

I will say this question is not foreign to me in any way...it is only slightly more popular than other great questions such as..."when are you getting married?"...and "when are you going to start a family?"... Strangely enough the answer for all of these questions is very similar. Not any time soon...when pigs fly up to a take out window and order a coffee at Tim Horton's wearing their sweet flannel jacket, which seems to be and NB issued one.

In case you are not aware, I, along with Jana and Mike, just returned from God's Country, aka, Nouveau-Brunswick. I will say that I had not been back since last December, so it was great to see some new scenery. Every once in awhile you do need  a break from watching people eat random yummies from off of the floor of the the lovely Toronto subway car...so on that front it was great!

I also very much enjoyed seeing friends and family and my beauty new niece. I missed some people due to time constraints, but that is bound to happen when you consider how awesome and I am and how rarely I am home...lol ;), so I will see you all when I am back, or when you realize that it costs the same for me to go to NB as it would for you all to come here!! :) But I am sorry if you were missed, it's never my intention, but family takes over.

It was also great to have some good work meetings and look to generate some revenue, so overall it was very productive...

With all that lovefest stuff being said, I have to say that I didn't find the magical moment/thing/gust of wind/great meal/anything you can think of that made me think..."Man this is sweet, I should really move back here and find a job"...let us dissect that thought for a moment: 1. it is fun in short doses, but I wouldn't say it's sweet, 2. Moving back there would mean many things, not the least of which would mean that I would likely have to do that drive again (which is like volunteering for a lobotomy), 3. What would my skills allow me to do there? I have experience selling sports, and technology, so my options are inherently limited (however I could grow a mullet and sell for Hafford motors or something...)

So to sum it up, NB was an awesome time for  a change of pace, but I will take Toronto any day so I can kick it up a notch and have more than one pace as an option. So if anyone wants to visit, you know how to find me!!

JLS aka the NB lovin Toronto livin bad mutha

Random Thought: I wonder if I could afford to hire a driver for the next time I want to go to NB, because that 1400 km's is not something I would wish on anyone, but would pay someone to do...

COME AGAIN
You are now entering the longest covered bridge in the world 1282 feet:

Swing a cat and other words of wisdom...fear the flying squirrel...

Well it has often been said that you can't swing a cat in the subway without hitting a special person...and people are always right out sideways trying to get on the train...sometimes I really cabbage other peoples cool toys.

Now I realize that to a lot of you people reading this, that group of words likely didn't make any sense, and that's because it wouldn't make any sense to you unless you were from the east coast of Canada...New Brunswick more specifically and Carleton County if you want to be precise...to shed some light on this keep reading and then visit www.dooryard.ca...

Every group of people has their own slang, every country, province, city, school, group of friends right down to the individual have their own odd things they say that make other people look at them like they have 5 heads...I for instance say things like...'it's better than a kick in the nuts'...or 'i wouldn't kick her outta bed for eating crackers' (sorry mom)...and 'she'd do in a pinch'...'giver'...or a classic like 'we go way back, way back in the woods and bend em over a tree stump' (innappropriate I know, but I was young :)

Now when I say these things around people who have never met me/heard these words together before...they generally cock their heads and say 'what the ...?...' which is precisely what I was hoping for. People talk like this in my opinion to make others not know what the heck they are talking about.

So you say, that makes no sense...the whole point of people being able to talk is to communicate and get their feelings/points/message across to their audience...well that's not for me. For some strange reason I am all about making the person have to think about what my message might be, simply because I can. I consider myself a very cunning linguist...and I like to test it on a daily basis...ask anyone who has spent more than an hour with me and they may just tend to agree...or they are lying...

So think about people you know and I 100% guarantee you that if you do now hang around with boring, monotonous people that you will be able to think of one person who says things that are unique to them or to your group of friends...newfies ask people 'what are you at' for what are you doing and 'where ya to' for where are you or 'I'm gonna get a shower' like they have to go buy when instead of just having a shower...so they are all around us...they live inside us...which is odd, maybe that's why I am gaining weight (stupid extra person inside me)

New Brunswick is very full this type of thing and people often say to me, man you NBers sure do talk funny...are you guys retarded or something...I respond with, we aren't retarded buddy, we just like to head to the camp with a case of beer and play bammington in the willy wags while we hang with our cuzzint's, and big whoop if you think we are retarded...I'm gonna be fair t' middlin' no matter what...champ!...enjoy your b'dayduh break...

JLS...the mystery wrapped up in an enigma inside and iron box with 14 locks on it while the half ton mom sits on top of it...get into it

Random thought # 9 or 10: puckerbrush, right out straight, so drunk that drunk is sober, common sense ain't so common, fill yer boots, dog wettin' and piss cut are also classic and amazing sayings I have heard in a sentence...look em up!!