A Cold July...

OK, so maybe the title should be a cold in July, but I thought it sounded more suspenseful the other way. I am one of the lucky few who gets to have the dreaded summer cold and I don't like it one damn bit. That is part of the joy of working in an office where they stack you up like gerbils at a pet store. But it could be worse I guess...I could be a soccer fan or have a lady friend who watches the Bachelorette, so it's not all bad. (don't be alarmed by the stupid highliting, the editor tool won't allow me to change it for no good reason)

So because I am blaming office mates for said cold, I might as well talk about the joys of an office job. A friend texted me that her mom used to say a summer cold meant that you had been kissing too many boys, I can assure you with an 87% level of certainty that I did not acquire the cold in this manner. So I'm sticking with the office. 

So I work in an office and by all standards it's a very nice office. Compared to others I have worked in, it's basically a damn palace. Nice location, nice decor, lots of glass walls to make you feel like you are in a fishbowl during meetings, everything a person in the corporate world could ask for really. But alas, what kind of world would we live in if I couldn't make fun of some aspects of the rat race...

First off people bring their germs and vileness to the office with them, which I guess I did today as well. I did this out of spite for those who did it to me and thus the circle continues, so someone less spiteful than me needs to break this circle or it will just be a cesspool of filth. 

Secondly you don't get to pick who you sit beside. You know the saying that you can't choose your family, well that goes at work as well. Sometimes life, or in this case management, gives you rotten lemons so you can't even make lemonade. Why can't I always sit by the smart, good looking person with all of the right answers. I mean my neighbours get to. 

Third (not really office, more commute), why can't parking be free so I don't have to take public transit? I mean, if you ever feel inadequate as a human being, just go to the county fair or take public transit for 10 min. I've seen people eat stuff off the floor, yell at other riders for no good reason, heard a teenage girl conversation (nothing is more mind numbing) and seen seats that have been recently urinated on. I feel as if my IQ drops at least 10 points per ride and I don't have enough points to spare as it is. I do however feel pretty amazing as a person after these rides, knowing that I refrained from doing any and all of those things. 

So what grinds you about the rat race? Let me know. 

JLS aka The Lazy-assed Mercenary(that's my Wu Tang Name)